Tuesday, January 29, 2013
The business of living.
I know I am writing a lot of sappy lovely posts about my husband lately. But there is a reason.
Last year, I was just coping. With Shane, with my babies, with my thoughts, with life. It was a nervous, unstable, unsustainable energy. Just keep moving.
But now.... I am happy. Shane. Being married to him, is more wonderful than it has been in a long time. Last year, it was all about surviving. Shane's stress was at phenomenal levels. I just didn't know what to do, but keep going, and trust God with my marriage and my husband. I had to put my game face on when he got home from work, because I had no idea which version of him was going to come home.
This year, he is one of my favourite parts of my life. Things are just... good. I am praying that they can stay that way. I am praying that his work will not overwhelm and exhaust him like it did last year. It sucked out every single bit of him last year. Even the marrow. By Christmas, he was down to bare bones.
I am praying madly that we will be able to do what we can this year so that doesn't happen again.
I am much better, but I am still struggling a bit with the day to day stuff. Looking after the kids, when they push every darn button they can find. Charlie is currently doing a lot of a destruct o-baby routine, and I have decided I am really not a fan of wailing toddlers.
The days, they are long.
But as soon as Shane gets home, generally, the world just gets... good.
I love that things are like this. It's been a long time coming. But it did come.
I need to figure out how better to manage my days with my babies. I want to make every aspect of life good. But I am so grateful that my husband is my friend again.